I also hate Pinterest. I hate that women who are single are planning their weddings. The diamond, the flowers, the bridesmaid's dresses, the hand-painted wooden signs, the engagement photos, the mason jars, the moss-covered initials, the bride's hair and make up, the mustaches on sticks, and every other detail.
Weddings are beautiful. I have said that I would cry even at a stranger's wedding from the sidewalk outside the chapel doors. They are meaningful and wonderful and I totally get that. I also get that if you are actually engaged, pinterest is probably a perfect tool for collecting ideas and planning.
BUT! I'm just so fed up with women obsessing over the planning for a day that is not in the near future, especially when they don't even know who this marriage will be to. How can you plan the celebration of a marriage without even knowing the man you'll marry? What if he doesn't want to wear that trendy checkered bow-tie and black rimmed glasses? How will you survive?
I hope this doesn't come off as me trying to be a cool "guy's girl." I am so not a guy's girl. I am 100% girl's girl but that's why I want MORE for young women! Enjoy this care-free life rather than counting down the moments until you are a housewife or mother. Being a mother is the most honorable job in the world, but I'll get there when I get there. For now, I'd rather plan a dinner party than my wedding.
I've been ranting about this issue to a few of my friends for a while now and today I found this image and it made me so happy...
I hope my husband isn't set on the checkered bow-tie and black rimmed glasses... 'cause that ain't my shit.
Ah I so agree! I've got a friend from High School who has been putti g together a wedding scrapbook for as long as I can remember.. She had her heart set on having Ronan Keating's ' When you say nothing at all' for her first dance. 8 years later, she's still not engaged but her boyfriend HATES that song, along with a wholebunch of other stuff from that tatty book. I currently am planing my wedding ( cuz there's s ring on my finger!) and I see how much a combined effort it is. I know in the movies the groom never seems to have an opinion but mine does. We picked out so much stuff together, he came up with cool ideas and said NO to a lot of stuff I liked, because it's too much of a trend right now ( we've been to 3 functions with fake moustache photo props- he is over them). So I agree with you so much, you can't plan the dream wedding until you've got your groom!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to let you know that this post put me in a good mood. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY! I grew up in a very religiously conservative household and DREAMED of the day when my life would be made complete by my children and husband. A few years later I am no longer religious and I realize how much of a disservice was done to me by society and the church. Women have so much more to experience! They should not bank on being married! Now, I would not want to be anywhere but where I am now, but I definitely wish I hadn't spent my single years in desperate pursuit of "The One".
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ReplyDeleteThank you thank you thank you! Life isn't a race and marriage isn't the finish line!
ReplyDeleteuh oh i was reallu set on the checkered bow-tie and black rimmed glasses! what now? cause once you get a divorce! me and you are getting married. i promise that! ok, maybe not right away but eventually..
ReplyDeleteThis post is outstanding. It's the 21st century! The ultimate goal in a woman's life should NOT be marriage. (Side note: sometimes I think there are women who's goal is not marriage, but rather the wedding.)
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome! Couldnt agree more. Congrats on being honest and open about this!
ReplyDeleteyer the best! way to say it like it is.
ReplyDeleteAMEN. AMEN. AMEN.
ReplyDeleteAgreed! That's why I don't follow any wedding boards, just fashion & crafts and other things I like.
ReplyDeleteA thousand times yes. I have opted out of all wedding boards by folks that I follow. For one, I am a relative newlywed and the site of wedding details still launches me into a mild panic attack, as I immediately recall the total chaos that REAL wedding planning is (as opposed to hypothetical planning). For another, I can't stand to see the single gals waste precious hours of the 'care-free' period in life fixating on a future that may or may not be reality for them.
ReplyDeleteSingle-ness is sacred. Enjoy the hell out of it, and learn as much as you possibly can about yourself. This is my feeling.
I just "pinned" this! Haha!
ReplyDeleteI actually love weddings that do DIYs that I know haven't come from pinterest. They were just from the heart.
Loved this whole blog post!
A-to the-men! And I'll say it again-Amen! I hate when single gals don't realize how great they have it. I'm happily married to the love of my life, but there is something very very special and sacred and wonderful about that single time. I look back on it fondly. Girls need to relish it, live in the moment, love it, discover themselves, and just be happy where they are at. It will make that future guy and wedding all the more special, because like you point out, it won't be filled with disappointing preconceived notions. Love this post. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more with all that you have written. I didn't even think about my dream wedding when I was a little girl. Now that I have had my wedding, it truly was perfect since my husband and I both had the well-deserved input. What a great post; I just love your honesty!
ReplyDeleteAMEN. i have actually stopped following people because of this.
ReplyDeletehttp://oliveobserver.blogspot.com
I'm going to be honest. I just got married (October) and I still pin random wedding things. Why? Because I think weddings are beautiful and inspirational and I love saving all the ones that make me feel good or have ideas that I'd like to use, obviously not at a wedding, but maybe at a friends birthday or a baby shower. Or even a friend who may get married in the future that I might help with. I was planning my wedding in my head waaaay before the days of pinterest, but not because I was rushing to get there. It was just fun to dream about a day that I could plan to be exactly how I want it, that all of the people I love would be at, including my future husband who I didn't know when I was 16 and dreaming of this day.
ReplyDeleteI totally get where you're coming from, just throwing my opinion out there ;)
Women have been planning their weddings long before Pinterest:-) When I was in college I had a wedding notebook filled with pages from wedding magazines. Of course I threw most of those ideas out the window when I got engaged and started planning my wedding for real, but it's fun to dream:-) Having said all that, I also hate wedding boards and I generally just avoid/ignore them.
ReplyDeleteI admit I do like looking at pictures to do with weddings but I certainly don't keep a folder or whatever of them. My work colleague is currently getting married and its fun to watch whilst she researches stuff for the first time.
ReplyDeletehahah amazing!!!
ReplyDeleteoh fruck, i love this even more as a blog post. MUAH.
ReplyDeletealso have love-hate, love the collecting concept but hate the months long wait for an invite. i went with http://www.juxtapost.com instead. dont know what i would do without it!
ReplyDeleteYOU took the words right out of my mouth.
ReplyDeleteNAILED IT. Thank you. Your take on the "My Future Wedding (Hopefully!)" pinboards reminds me of women who spend more time decorating their unborn child's nursery than they do preparing for childbirth or motherhood. I call it Pottery Barn Syndrome.
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